Destroying Each Other
by wikipedias
Summary: Slight AU. Revenge is difficult. Especially when your friends are as twelveish as you are. "Mate." For Dernier Cri. — MassieDerrick. ClaireDerrick
1. Mean Prostitute

Hans, this one's for you.

-

Everyone has their days when they just don't give a damn. These are one of those days.

_-_

_Derrick_

There she goes again. Giving me the look.

I don't like the look.

Because it means she wants to talk to me. I don't want to talk to her.

She is a mean prostitute.

But I'm slightly scared of the mean prostitute.

So I go and talk to her.

She says I am a prick and that she wants to break up because she saw me flirting with Claire. I nod and say "Whatever" straight to her face because I actually _was_.

Massie looks just a smidge shocked and I take this opportunity to _walk past her_, take her seat and sit next to Claire.

She looks up from the textbook, slightly bemused. I look down, more amused.

Claire looks at Massie and Massie is seething with anger. Claire looks at me and I am smiling with happiness.

Because I made Massie want to kill me.

-

_Alicia._

He is absolutely crazy. Totally. Seriously. Completely. And whatever words Massie uses to explain stuff like this; he _is_ whatever she says about at him.

Why?

Because he just defied Massie.

-

_Dylan_

I wonder if I ate this donut…would I gain a thousand calories?

Maybe I should take the laxatives Mom prescribed…

But then that'd probably be, like, _way _too much. Major overload!

-

_Josh_

Oh. Em. Gee. Massie is going to nuke him. With her iPhone. And nail polish.

Derrick, dude, run for the freakin' hills.

Alicia will rant about his.

Shit.

-

_Claire_

Cam is _so_ going to love this.

Take _that_, you Nikki-Massie-Olivia skank!

Derrick, I think this is a start of a beautiful relationship!

-

_Cam_

Traitor.

He knew I wanted Claire back!

Good thing the bitch's gonna die.

Massie will never let him live; thank God and everything else for that.

-

**A/N:** Hatehatehate Cam. Lovelovelove Derrick. Hatehatehate Alicia/Dylan. Adoreadoreadore Josh/Claie.

**A/N: **The reason other characters aren't here is because, please, do you honestly think they'll be in _every _class together? Just trying to add _some _believability to it all.


	2. Eff You, Hurley

**A/N: **Hello. I am Lexanna Fable and I suddenly want to continue this piece of sh - what?

**A/N: **Disclaimer: I do not own Clique. I traded it for a bag of magical beans and had dinner. Sorry.

- - - - -

_Josh_

"Dude. Leave it; it's over. She ruined your life."

He puts his hands in his pockets.

-

_Derrick_

"No. I will not, Hotz. She will get what she gets."

He stares intently at a blueprint.

-

_Cam_

"Deserves. Not gets. Deserves."

He glares at his Vans.

-

_Derrick_

"Whatever. As long as it works, Fisher."

He spares a contemptous glance at Fisher.

-

_Kemp_

"Dude, the surname thing's gettin' old. Quit it."

He cracks his gum.

-

_Derrick_

"Eff you, Hurley."

He flips the bird.

- - - - -

_Massie_

"That melodramatic _bitch_! How _dare _he dump me! And in _Science_! _Ugh_!"

She stamps her foot.

-

_Kristen_

"Mass, it's okay; you already scalped him…"

She pats her back comfortingly.

-

_Massie_

"Shut _up_, Kristen! I _have_ to get revenge!"

She turns on Kristen and glares.

-

_Dylan_

"Mass, Kris's right; you already kicked Claire out too…"

She swallows down some laxative pills.

-

_Massie_

"…"

She looks interested.

-

_Alicia_

"And you already bribed the coach to kick him out of the soccer team, remember? Which was _genius_, BTW."

She clasps her hands together and stares adoringly at Massie.

-

_Massie_

"…more. Must do more."

She speaks with finality.

- - - - -

_Claire_

"Screwed. I'm screwed."

She picks at her cuticles.

-

_Layne_

"You ate Todd's Pop Tarts again?"

She adjusts her _Naruto_ muffler.

-

_Claire_

"Shut up, Layne! That was you!"

She looks up angrily and glares.

-

_Layne_

"...whatever."

She bounces her hacky sack against her wrist.

-

_Claire_

"I actually meant that Massie's gonna kill me! She already kicked me out!"

She lets a small tear escape.

-

_Layne_

"...Yes! Finally!"

She breaks the hacky sack.

- - - - -

**A/N:** I lovelovelove all your reviews! Thank you from the bottoms of my digitally-enhanced heart.

**A/N:** Thankyouthankyouthankyou _lipglossgirlsavestheday_! I don't like much 'Layne' so I forget! :D


	3. Dude!

Disclaimer: Yes, thank you. I am Awesome, aren't I? And yes, I have a superior intellect. Thanks for menti - oh wait. This isn't my acceptance speech? No? Drat.

Disclaimer (Revised): I don't own Clique and anything else here except the words I used. But, then again, Shakespeare owned them too...

- - - - -

_Derrick_

"Dude, this will work. Trust the experto extroadionaro."

He punches his open palm with his other hand and tries to look macho.

-

_Josh_

"You moron. Duck tape will never work. You should've used super glue."

He tries to look like an expert.

-

_Derrick_

"…Claire is pretty, huh? And perfect to destroy Massie with, right?"

He appears embarrased and looks over his shoulder.

-

_Josh_

_­_"_Dude_! Eff off! I got dibs on her!"

He takes off his Yankees hat.

-

_Derrick_

_"_Uh, _dude_! No, you _don't_! I'm a _free_ man and you have a Twenty!"

He glares and crosses his arms.

-

_Josh_

"_Dude_! You mean the _Follower_! All she does is follow Massie! I don't want a _dog_ for a crush!"

He picks up pebbles up from the gravel.

-

_Derrick_

"_Please_, dude! A little respect for the _'full'_ people, heh?"

He makes suggestive shapes.

-

_Josh_

"Oh, _dude_, you did _not _just go there."

He looks faintly sick.

-

_Derrick_

"What, dude? You know she's happy in _that _department."

He winks.

-

_Josh_

"_Dude_, sick. Get a life and super glue. I'm going home to puke and then get _Claire_! _Ha_!"

He suddenly grins, launches the pebbles at Derrick's knee and runs for the limousine.

-

_Derrick_

"_Dude_!"

He clutches his knee, loses his balance and falls on the ground.

- - - - -

_Massie_

"He will _nawt_ - and I repeat - _nawt_, beat _me_ at the game _I_ invented."

She raked her recently manicured nails across her mattress. Feathers were given birth to again and flew out the window.

-

_Alicia_

"Mass, come _awn_. He's just an ex-_guy_. Just pull his shorts down or something. Or break his skateboard. Or something equally amazing only _you_ could come up with."

She finished inspecting Massie's hair for split ends and started on french-braiding it.

-

_Massie_

"Leesh, you are a _complete_ female dog. How could you even _suggest _something like that?! Derrick is a _dork_ times twenty infinities. He will _die_."

She turns around and gives Alicia a chill-shudder with the amber-glare.

-

_Kristen_

"Mass, can I have this skirt from DKNY? You said you over it from, like, yesterday..."

She picks up a black denim mini from Massie's walk-in closet.

-

_Massie_

"Shut _up_, Kristen! I'm trying to think of a plan to implode _and_ explode Derringt - I mean, Derrick!"

She covers her slight blush with a Seventeen.

-

_Dylan_

"I have to go the bathroom!"

She tosses a pill bottle at Alicia and launches towards the bathroom Kendra 'reserved' for her.

- - - - -

_Cam_

"Pick_up_pick_up_pick_up_, dammit..."

He walks around his room, kicking CDs at random.

- - - - -

_Claire_

"Take _that_, Camille."

She smiles at her vibrating Motorola Massie-esque-ly except with much more venom and much less experience.

- - - -

_Layne_

"Ooh, look! Tacos! Chris, that'll look _rad_ with my Doc Martens! Get 'em!"

She tugs his Diesel shirt and points at the only Mexican food stall in Westchester.

-

_Chris_

"No. I already got you leggings, a raincoat, a...thing for your hair and a cardboard box. I have to go _home_. So we go. Now."

He stares at the ground and wishes he was with JoJo or Fawn or someone with an equally stupid name to hang around with.

-

_Layne_

"I'll tell Massie about your _little secret..._"

She starts whistling the tune to Mission Impossible.

-

_Chris_

"How much are the tacos?!"

He whips out his wallet and claps a hand onto Layne's mouth.

- - - - -

**A/N:** And the plots thickens. Or gets more stupider. As long as its entertaining. Any errors, hm?

**A/N:** Layne's use of 'rad' will be explained in the upcoming chapters. Because I am a lazy git and cannot be bothered to explain it in one chaps. Oh the irony.


	4. pink

A/N: I have French exam tomorrow and I spend my time on this; aren't I _wondahful_?

Disclaimer: Owing this is the closest I can get to Clique. So, hell, yeah, I don't own it.

- - - - -

_Derrick_

"I macho. I hot. I made the best _freakin'_ thing ever! I can destroy Massie! Score one for the D-Man!"

He drags his backpack across the pavement and grins at strangers.

-

_Cam_

"You did _not_ just say that, bro. And if you did, I didn't hear it."

He covers his ears with his hands and looks pained.

-

_Derrick_

"...shaddup, Cammie; I need the tar, K!"

He shouts to the figure behind them.

-

_Kemp_

"Harrington, _please, _have some faith in me! I gots the tar!"

He drops the bucket of tar onto the ground to prove his worth; it spills slightly.

-

_Cam_

"Dude, we lost all faith in you ever since we trusted you with our clubhouse secret."

He looks disgruntled and kicks a pebble onto the road. A Mercedes Benz swerves to avoid the offending mite.

-

_Kemp_

"Like I'd know Chris's underwear was worth so much to his Mom! I was _nine_!"

He uses the 'I was _nine_' crack!line again.

-

_Derrick_

"...I just got chills again. _Dudes_! WE CONTINUE WITH THE TAR! I WILL DESTROY MASSIE!_"_

He does a Napoleon-esque pose.

_-_

_Josh_

"I came as fast as I could; what's up?"

He runs to them, pants heavily and fans his face with Alicia's Yankees hat.

-

_Kemp_

"Arrrrggghhhh!"

He hides behind the nearest tree.

-

_Derrick_

"What?! _What_?! Massie?! _Hell_, eff this, hide me!"

He does a scared rabbit impersonation.

-

_Kemp, Josh, Cam_

"_Dude_!"

They gape.

-

_Derrick_

He coughed pitifully.

-

_Kemp_

"...Aaarrrgghhhhh!"

He gets up and then falls down on the ground again.

-

_Josh_

_"_WHAT?!"

He loses it.

-

_Kemp_

"...pink..."

He whimpers weakly.

- - - - -

_Massie_

_'_PC: i got the scissors & shorts. The iPad, ASAP! Or immediate expulsion!'

She types into her iPhone frantically

- - - - -

_Alicia, Kristen_

"Oh, shoot."

They exchange a helpless look.

-

_Dylan_

'Can't. Doc hospitalized me at home; too much lax'

She groans in pain and in annoyance.

- - - - -

_Claire_

'D - where the heck R U? this chkn gettin clucky. pardon the pun'

She giggles for the first time in weeks.

- - - - -

_Layne_

"Chris, darling brother..."

-

_Chris_

"No, Layne. I'm flat broke as it is."

-

_Layne_

She hums the theme song to Mission Impossible again.

-

_Chris_

"Layne, is your 70s obsession still on?"

He tries to distract.

_-_

_Layne_

"Yeah!"

She stops humming.

-

_Chris_

"Well, I got this friend..."

It works.

- - - - -

A/N: I'm going to the PATD concert in HK! Score ONE BILLION for Lex!

A/N: Don't try tapping your iPhone frantically, folks; mine's currently in remission 'cause of it. D:)


	5. Chuck Bonk

Disclaimer: Booo! Manchester United sucks!

**A/N:** Go Arsenal! You have the legs of it all!

- - - - -

_Derrick_

"Okay. Since the tar plan didn't work, we'll revert to Plan B."

He puts his hands in his shorts pockets and looks enlightened.

-

_Cam_

"Since when did you have a 'Plan B'?"

He doesn't bother looking up from the television.

-

_Josh_

"Since he decided to date Massie, young Cyclops."

He chuckles and breaks into full-blown laughter when he beats Cam at Burnout.

-

_Cam_

_"_For the last time, moron, Cyclops are supposed to have _one_ eye! And why the heck are you laughing?!"

He chucks a game disk at Josh's head.

-

_Chris_

"Uh, _dude_ - if you didn't realize it yet, it's because he just kicked your _butt _at Burnout!"

Chris joins in on Josh's peals of laughter.

-

_Cam_

"Suck an egg, Chris."

He switches off the GameCube and relaxes his head against the couch.

-

_Kemp_

"Your house has horrible reception, Fishie; there's no Wi-Fi here."

He vigorously shakes his iPhone - a desperate attempt to get signal.

-

_Cam_

"Don't whine to me, Bushy-hair, it's your fault you decided to stare at porno in front of my _dad_."

He flinches at the memory.

-

_Kemp_

"High-five, anyone?"

He slaps hands with Chris, grinning proudly.

-

_Derrick_

"Dude, wha'appened to Josh?"

He asks, puzzled, and stares at Josh.

-

_Josh_

"I, no, dude, loo - what?!"

He stares at his Sidekick amazedly, a half-grin forming on his face.

-

_Chris_

"_Duuuuude_! Show!"

He reaches to yank out the Sidekick from Josh's hands.

"_We can't be together anymore. I'm sick of your lies. Leave me and TPC alone. Alicia. X_"

He whistles softly and stares at Josh awestruckedly.

-

_Josh_

_"Yes_!"

He jumps on the couch and punches his hand to the ceiling.

"I'm _free_! I'm freefree_free_! _Free_!"

-

_Cam_

"_Dude_! That's leather!"

He bonks Josh's shin with the console.

-

_Josh_

"Ow!"

He trips over a cushion and lands on the sofa, bouncing slightly.

-

_Derrick_

"No fair! Why can Josh break up with Alicia so easily!"

He shouts from his position on the floor.

-

_Kemp_

"Because he's a homo."

He grins evilly, new plans already half-forming under his bushy hair.

- - - - -

**A/N: **I'm stopping it abruptly because I have to go and chuck something at someone. Seriously.

**A/N: **Is Kemp the bushy-guy or not? Because I don't even remember. ;O

Disclaimer (Revised): I don't like Lisi Harrison but I like ClaireJosh. I don't own the Clique characters.


End file.
